FAQ
Frequently Asked Questions
These are the questions I get asked most often, usually right before someone reaches out. I figured I'd answer them here so you don't have to ask twice. If your question isn't on the list, the right next step is probably a conversation, not more reading.
Fit & Process
Who is this work for?
Most of the people who come to me are ten to twenty-five years into a career. They've built something real — a company, a team, a track record. What brings them to coaching is usually some version of: "the thing that worked before isn't working anymore, and I can feel it but I can't quite name what's underneath." Executives, founders, nonprofit leaders, managing directors. People who don't need a pep talk. They need someone who can actually think alongside them about what's going on.
Who is this work not for?
If you want someone to hand you a framework, I'm probably not the right fit. Same if you want someone to validate a decision you've already made. I'm going to ask questions you might not be ready to answer, and the work depends on you being willing to sit with the answers for a minute. If that doesn't sound like what you want, we're not going to work well together. Better to know that before we start.
How do you know if you're ready?
In my experience, people don't usually arrive in crisis. They reach out when they realize they can't think the thing through on their own. The same problem keeps showing up in different forms. There's a question underneath the question, but you can't quite get to it. You don't need to have it figured out before we talk. That's what the chemistry call is for.
What does an engagement look like?
We start with a chemistry call. If it feels like a fit on both sides, the minimum commitment is six months, meeting every two weeks. I don't take on shorter engagements. This work takes time. Anything less ends up being surface-level, and that's not what you came for. Sessions are usually virtual. Before we begin, I'll send you some reflection prompts. Most people tell me the prompts alone surface something useful before we've even had our first session.
How is this different from therapy?
I get this question a lot. The way I think about it: therapy tends to work backward from history. Coaching works forward from where you are now. We're not treating anything pathological. We're looking at the patterns shaping how you're showing up and whether they're still serving you. The work can go deep, but the depth is in service of decisions you're making in the present. If something more clinical comes up, I'll say so directly and help you find the right kind of support.
What do I ask of clients?
Three things, I guess. Show up honestly — including about the things that feel uncomfortable to name. Stay in discomfort a little longer than feels natural. The real movement tends to happen just past the point where most people pull back. And expect to be challenged. Respectfully, but directly. In return, you get someone who pays close attention, says what he sees, and won't let you off the hook when the inquiry gets uncomfortable.
Methodology & Approach
What does "identity before strategy" mean?
Most coaching starts with goals. Where do you want to go? What's the plan? I find when I start there, I end up working on the wrong problem. So I take it back a step. Who are you, actually, and is the version you're operating from still accurate? The strategy you build on outdated identity tends to produce more of what you've already outgrown. I'm not imposing this as a philosophy. I just keep finding it's where the real movement starts.
Why do you draw on neuroscience, philosophy, and Eastern wisdom?
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Honestly, none of that showed up because I was trying to build a framework. Different questions need different tools.
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Some questions get clearer when you understand how the brain handles threat — that's the neuroscience side.
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Philosophy and ancient wisdom is a different thing. We tend to think we're unique. We tend to think this moment in history is unique — the pace, the technology, the kinds of choices we have to make. I notice it in myself too. But the human condition hasn't really changed. The questions about meaning, about how to live, about what to do when the thing you've built isn't the thing you wanted — those questions aren't new. People sat with them carefully a long time ago and figured some things out — Aristotle, the Taoist tradition, Buddhist teachers writing about impermanence, the Japanese idea of ikigai. We can learn from them. That's all it is for me. I'm not performing mysticism. I'm paying attention to people who already did the work.
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I don't lead with any of it. It shows up when it's useful.
How is this different from other executive coaching?
I'm careful answering this one because it can sound like positioning. What I'll say is what I try to do. Most executive coaching is built around delivering a framework to a client. What I try to offer is a thinking partnership — someone helping you see what you can't see alone, then act on it. If you've worked with coaches before and walked away with a tidy framework but nothing really changed, you already know what I'm pointing at.
What's the role of fear in your work?
I think of fear as information. Not as an obstacle to push past. The specific shape of what someone's afraid of — being irrelevant, being exposed, losing control, losing connection — usually tells me which directions are going to feel sustainable for them and which they'll unconsciously sabotage. The more precisely we can name a fear, the less it drives decisions in the background. That's not therapy talk. That's just how good decisions actually get made, in my experience.
Do you give advice, or ask questions?
Both, depending on what's useful. Most of the work is asking the questions you haven't asked yourself. But I'm not pure non-directive. If I see a pattern worth naming, I'll name it. If there's a hard truth worth saying, I'll say it. Respectfully, but directly. Most of the people I work with don't actually need someone to validate their thinking. They need someone willing to disagree when something doesn't add up.
What if I just need help with a specific decision, not a deep dive?
That's often where the work begins. People usually arrive with a discrete problem — a transition, a board conversation, a chapter they need to close or open. What I find is the work tends to reveal that the problem they came with wasn't really the problem. You can engage at whatever depth is useful to you. I'm not going to pretend a surface answer is the answer if it isn't.
Still have questions?
The fastest way to know if we're a fit is a chemistry call. Not a pitch about methodology — a conversation about what's actually prompting the question for you.