I’ve often struggled with work; I felt dissatisfied, tired, unfulfilled and at times, I’ll even admit, depressed. And then there were the periods of my life where I felt the opposite: excited, driven, inspired, satisfied and extremely content. I decided to take stock of my life and identify what sparked the innovative periods that left me feeling fulfilled. When exactly were these moments? When did I feel the most engaged? What was it that inspired me? High performers who have learned to reduce stress know how to pinpoint the life experiences that bring energy and joy to their lives. They have figured out how to manifest these feelings in their work and overall life.
Most of us find it easy to busy ourselves. We work hard to accomplish things – get raises, seek out new titles, and collect more accolades. We don't stop to evaluate the significance behind why we need to feel like we are so busy, why we thrive on all of the superficial accomplishments. We don't ask ourselves why we do what we do and if these things matter to us.
Seneca one of my favorite Roman Stoic philosophers wrote in On the Shortness of Life: “You live as if you were destined to live forever, no thought of your frailty ever enters your head, of how much time has already gone by you take no heed. You squander time as if you drew from a full and abundant supply, though all the while that day which you bestow on some person or thing is perhaps your last.” We waste so much time on the things that are not important to us, because we act out of fear, rather than opportunity. Fear of what others think, fear of not making enough money, fear of failing, fear of ourselves.
How do high performers take on the urgency that is necessary to be fully alive and live their life in the most meaningful way? Steve Covey in his true and tested book The Seven habits of Highly effective people wrote “Start with a clear destination in mind. We can use our imagination to develop a vision of what we want to become and use our conscience to decide what values will guide us.” I believe that our values are important, but to understand what these are we should identify what truly engages us. Understanding this is not an intellectual exercise. It is an exercise of the heart. Jim Dethmer and Diana Chapman talk about this in their book The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership: “The wisdom of the heart center, of emotional intelligence, is essential to great leadership, but typically goes untapped.” My friend Scott gave me the best advice on this and said: “Don’t think about what you can do, but how do you want to feel.”
High performing leaders are in tune with their heart. They understand how they want to feel, when they feel good, most energized in their work, with their partner, parenting and in their free time. This contemplation gets us to understand what our core tenets are, our values. For me it is innovation, building something in a team environment, helping others and making the world a little bit of a better place. Understanding these tenants made it clear to me the type of work I needed to do to make me truly fulfilled.
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