Coaching Metta Blog

“I didn’t even realize that I wanted this promotion until someone else got it.” That came up when I was talking with Brittanni Hendricks on Midlife Remix, and she hears some version of it regularly from high performers. I keep coming back to it because it names what happens to the executives I coach, who have managed their own wanting for so long that, when it surfaces, someone else is already in the role.

Thomas had that question forced on him in the most extreme way possible. In 2021, he was six months from the exact age his father was when he died, and his grandfather before him. When he had a heart attack.

In the latest episode of the Midlife Remix (full conversation link in comments), I talked with Molly Carroll, MA, LPC, a therapist, author, podcast host, and TED Talk speaker.

Joao Viana left a successful corporate career and created something that didn’t exist before. He called it Walking Mentorship. He walks alongside people for seven days through places like the Camino de Santiago. Not as a guide. As a thinking companion. And what he’s found after hundreds of walks is that the insights that change people aren’t dramatic. Slowly, one day at a time, until you look back and realize you’re facing a completely different direction.

He shared that leadership teams increasingly recognize that inner work is closely tied to high performance. He also offered insights on noticing when you’re avoiding feelings, blaming instead of taking responsibility, clinging to being right instead of staying curious, and developing awareness through meditation—all of which transformed not only my perspective on leadership but also how I engage day to day.

In a recent podcast conversation, I spoke with contemplative psychotherapist David Redish about how psychedelics and meditation can support people navigating these midlife transitions. Not as escapes, but as tools for awareness and reflection.

What happens when the life you've built starts to feel disconnected from the person you're becoming?

Most people don’t walk away from a powerful title and a big paycheck. And even fewer talk openly about what comes after. That’s why this conversation with Paul Hatch felt so important. If you know Paul, you know he’s always been sharp, driven, and steady under pressure. But the honesty he brought into this episode surprised me. It’s the kind of clarity that comes only from hitting a few walls, learning from them, and choosing a different way forward.

There’s a midlife phase where you’re actively engaged, meeting expectations, but the sense of fulfillment has changed. This occurs because we're midway through life, facing health issues, children’s problems, and aging parents. Typically, it’s a sign that the motivations that once drove you aren’t as strong or relevant anymore. 

We spend our lives chasing success; climbing the corporate ladder, making more money, and proving ourselves. In midlife, we question what to do once we achieve it, or why we keep pursuing it when we haven’t.

We hear the word 'midlife'  and immediately think 'crisis' . The sports car, the divorce, the panic that life is over. But what if midlife isn't about falling apart, but about finally understanding what is important to you in life? Over the past year on the podcast, I’ve spoken with people who’ve done precisely that. In this episode, I feature conversations with Larry Kihlstadius, Paul Hatch, Kim Mustin, and Mike Ma.  They stopped pursuing someone else’s idea of success and s

In this week’s Midlife Remix, I sat down with Paige Scott, Senior Partner and leader of the Asset Management practice at Kingsley Gate, to talk about the crossroads many Gen X leaders are facing: career transition, changing values, multi‑generational teams, and the courage it takes to live and lead from alignment. Below are the core themes from our conversation, the questions I’m asking clients right now, and a simple practice Paige swears by to re‑center your path.

“The people whose identity is tied to their work… when that work goes away, many get lost. For them, work is purpose, importance, growth, learning, making money. But once it ends, they’re stuck. The only difference between a rut and a grave are the dimensions.”“The people whose identity is tied to their work… when that work goes away, many get lost. For them, work is purpose, importance, growth, learning, making money. But once it ends, they’re stuck. The only difference betw

“I was afraid the whole thing would collapse. That I’d have to tell the people who trusted me that I lost their money. I was under pressure. And I wasn’t s

He rebuilt his career as a portfolio of roles: consulting provided stability, teaching gave him joy, and experimenting with emerging technologies stretched his curiosity and kept him future-ready. In every era, there is a “curve” leaders must learn to ride, and today that curve is AI. It is moving faster than most of us can process, and it is already redrawing the boundaries of entire professions. The same curiosity that pushed Yogesh to walk away from corporate life is now m

What if the qualities that got you here - certainty, drive, expertise aren’t what will carry you forward? In this conversation, Brett Wright reflects on a personal and professional shift that many high-achieving leaders eventually face but rarely talk about: what happens when your identity has been shaped by performance, and suddenly, that’s not enough?

At some point in your career and in your life, you start asking different questions. Not How do I get ahead? But What am I building? Not How do I lead others? But Am I leading in a way that actually feels like me?

Most parents I coach struggle with the same things: trying to be the best parent, figuring out how to take care of their aging parents, navigating work transitions, and the unspoken pressure of being able to manage everything without falling apart. I can relate to them because I’m going through the same thing. I help Kade get ready in the morning, he still can’t dress himself because he has special needs. My daughter lives on the West Coast, and I try to stay up late to talk

There’s a feeling of deep melancholy in our generation and a low-level, underlying sense of discomfort that doesn’t always scream for attention, but it’s real. And it’s often the first sign that something deeper needs to shift. For many Gen Xers, it’s the realization they never got to where they thought they’d be, and they quietly carry that disappointment. For others, it’s worse: they got there, did everything right, and discovered they don’t even like what they are doing. A

The Sacred Side of Success: Bruno Del Ama on Intuition, Leadership, and Conscious Growth You're not alone if you’ve ever hit a...