Why Ignoring Working Dads Is a Costly Mistake

StevenMiyao

Mar 44 min read

"Hey Dad, are you coming to my game?"

It’s a simple question, but for many working fathers, it carries a weight that’s hard to describe. We want to be there, to show up for the moments that matter. But then reality kicks in—the back-to-back meetings, the emails piling up, the pressure to always be available.

And yet, despite this struggle, most workplaces still assume caregiving is something only moms worry about.

The Overlooked Reality of Working Dads

For decades, the traditional workplace has been built around an outdated model: dads focus on work, moms handle the caregiving. Even as dual-income households became the norm, corporate policies and cultures failed to keep up.

The result? Fathers who want to be actively involved in their children’s lives often feel forced to make a choice between being a good employee and being a present parent.

But here’s the truth: when companies fail to support working dads, they don’t just hurt families—they lose some of their best talent.

A Conversation That Needs to Happen

I recently had an incredible conversation with Paul Sullivan, founder of The Company of Dads, who knows this struggle firsthand.

Paul had a successful career as a journalist at The New York Times, writing the popular Wealth Matters column. He was thriving professionally, but at home, he was the go-to parent. While his wife built her own firm, Paul took on the primary caregiving role for their children—but he kept it quiet, afraid that acknowledging his responsibilities at home might jeopardize his career.

COVID changed all of that. Like so many parents, Paul found himself juggling work, parenting, and an entirely new reality where not being the lead dad wasn’t an option. That experience led him to launch The Company of Dads, a platform dedicated to supporting fathers who take on caregiving roles.

In our conversation, Paul and I unpacked some powerful truths about the way companies handle working parents—and where they’re getting it wrong.

The Myth That Flexibility Means Laziness

One of the biggest mistakes companies make is assuming that offering flexibility—whether it’s remote work, adjusted hours, or caregiving leave—will lead to employees “taking advantage” of the system. But as Paul pointed out, that’s simply not true. The employees who will abuse policies already do. The real risk isn’t that people will slack off—it’s that companies will push away their top performers by refusing to adapt. The most talented, high-performing employees—the ones who truly care about their work—also tend to be the ones who care deeply about their families. When they feel forced to choose between work and home, they will eventually walk away. The ones who won’t leave? The mediocre employees, the ones who aren’t in high demand elsewhere.

Why Work-Life Balance Is a Myth

Another key takeaway from our conversation: Work-life balance isn’t real. There’s no perfect equation where work and family fit neatly into separate boxes. The reality is, life is messy. Some weeks, work demands more of you. Other weeks, family needs take priority. The key is intentionality—deciding where you’re going to put your time and energy instead of just reacting to whatever demands the loudest attention. Paul shared a powerful story about a former CTO who had a near-death experience. Lying on a hospital bed, believing he might not survive, this man wasn’t thinking about all the deals he had closed or the PowerPoint presentations he had perfected. He was thinking about his family. That moment changed his entire approach to work and life. Instead of stepping back from his high-powered career, he simply restructured how he showed up—making sure he was fully present when he was with his family and setting clear boundaries around his time.

Leaving Loudly: A Culture Shift in the Workplace

One of my favorite parts of our discussion was about the idea of leaving loudly, which I learned from Kim Mustin. Too often, working parents feel pressure to sneak out of the office or quietly turn off their cameras when they need to handle family responsibilities. But what if, instead, leaders openly acknowledged their commitments?

🔹 “I’m logging off early today for my daughter’s soccer game. I’ll be back online tomorrow.”🔹 “I’ll be offline from 4-7 PM for family time, but I’m available afterward if needed.”

When leaders model this behavior, it creates a culture where employees feel safe doing the same. It normalizes the reality that work and family coexist, and that success isn’t about grinding yourself into exhaustion—it’s about being fully engaged in every part of your life.

What Companies Need to Do Next

If businesses want to attract and retain top talent, they need to rethink how they support working parents—dads included. That means:

Offering true flexibility – Not just policies on paper, but actual cultural acceptance of caregiving responsibilities.
Training managers to lead with empathy – A great HR policy is meaningless if direct managers discourage its use.
Encouraging leaders to leave loudly – Employees need to see that prioritizing family won’t hurt their careers.
Recognizing the value of engaged employees – Those who feel supported at home bring their best energy to work.

Final Thoughts

For too long, we’ve operated under the assumption that work and parenting are separate worlds. But the best employees aren’t the ones who sacrifice their families for their jobs—they’re the ones who bring their full selves to both. If companies want to keep their best talent, they need to wake up to the reality that working dads aren’t looking for an excuse not to work—they’re looking for a way to be great employees and great parents. And when businesses start embracing that truth, everyone wins.

How do you think workplaces can do better when it comes to supporting working dads? Drop your thoughts in the comments!

#Fatherhood #CareerGrowth #WorkLifeBalance #Leadership #WorkingParents #MidlifeRemix #coachingmetta #StevenMiyao #PaulSullivan #CompanyofDads

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