Executive Recruiter on Midlife Career Challenges and Finding Purpose

“When you get to 50 or above… you almost have to settle into your skin.” — Paige Scott

In this week’s Midlife Remix, I sat down with Paige Scott, Senior Partner and leader of the Asset Management practice at Kingsley Gate, to talk about the crossroads many Gen X leaders are facing: career transition, changing values, multi‑generational teams, and the courage it takes to live and lead from alignment.

Below are the core themes from our conversation, the questions I’m asking clients right now, and a simple practice Paige swears by to re‑center your path.

1) Authenticity is the new operating system

During the pandemic, the lines between our personal and professional lives dissolved. For many of us in midlife, that integration unlocked a different kind of conversation: Can I bring my full self to the table? How much runway do I have, and how do I want to use it?

Paige’s take is blunt and liberating: stop performing. If a company doesn’t want the real you, ask yourself whether you actually want to work there. Pretending is exhausting and unsustainable. The short‑term safety you get from fitting in quickly becomes long‑term misalignment.

Coaching prompt: Where are you still performing? What’s the cost, in energy, health, relationships, of keeping that act alive?

2) Your body knows before your résumé does

We like to talk about decisions as purely rational, as if the prefrontal cortex is the only credible source. But our somatic signals, tight chest, the drained feeling after a meeting, the sense of relief when an option falls away, carry essential data. Paige and I both see leaders override those signals, then wonder why the job, team, or culture still feels “off.”

Practice: Before major decisions, slow down. Name what you feel in your body. Tightness? Energy? Numbness? Your nervous system is often the first to register misalignment.

3) Underemployment is a trap

A common midlife scenario: “I don’t want the big job anymore. I’ll take something smaller.” Then six months in, you’re bored, resentful, and questioning your relevance. You can do the role, but it doesn’t do anything for you.

Paige calls it what it is: underemployment. It meets an immediate need, but at the expense of purpose. The antidote isn’t to chase a bigger title; it’s to clarify your ‘why’ and design work that matches your strengths, values, and desired impact.

Coaching prompt: If you stopped optimizing for title and comp for a moment, what kind of problems would you be thrilled to wake up and solve for the next three years?

4) The power of a well‑placed “no”

Boundaries are a leadership skill. Paige shared how raising her bar, asking harder questions up front, and opting out when the philosophy or behavior didn’t align changed her energy and her outcomes. Saying no isn’t negativity; it’s stewardship of your focus.

Try this line: “Before we commit, I want to understand how decisions actually get made here, and what behavior is rewarded when things go sideways.”

If that question irritates a potential partner or employer, you’ve learned something valuable early.

5) Generations at work: Gen X as the translator

Boomers grew up in hierarchical structures; Millennials and Gen Z challenge them. Gen X is the middle child, often translating expectations, motivations, and communication styles. Paige’s view: Gen X isn’t being bypassed so much as augmented.

Resourcefulness and self‑sufficiency are our edge. Where AI and digital fluency are central, Millennials may lead; elsewhere, cross‑generational teams perform best when Gen X builds the bridge.

Leader move: Tailor incentives. Not everyone is motivated by the same reward. Ask your team what success feels like to them and be ready for different answers.

6) Vulnerability builds real gravity

None of us are immune to life's challenges—divorce, aging parents, and health scares. Sharing selectively and appropriately at work isn't considered oversharing; rather, it's a way to build trust. When leaders share genuine stories of personal change, it encourages others to be honest about their own experiences.

Boundary to keep: Vulnerability is not venting. "Share the lesson you learned, not the pain you experienced."

7) A mentor’s truth can change your trajectory

Paige told a story about an early mentor who said, with care, “You’re breaking glass here.” It stung, but it was a turning point. She hired a coach, shifted from lone‑wolf to collaborator, and her career accelerated. Feedback lands when it’s delivered with respect and when we’re ready to hear it.

Coaching prompt: What feedback would you ask for if you weren’t afraid of the answer? Who could you trust to give it to you straight and well?

8) Legacy now: Make space, then step back

Legacy isn't just a plaque; it's about the people who continue to lead effectively after you. Paige is intentionally creating opportunities for others to step up, which requires her to develop new habits (new neural pathways) rather than simply saying, "I'll just do it." Letting go is a skill that you must practice; it's not something that can be done with the flip of a switch.

Leader move: Choose one responsibility you routinely grab back. This quarter, design the handoff so well that you can’t take it back. Document the standard, coach through the first misses, and celebrate progress publicly.

9) Manifestation journaling: Paige’s simple, practical framework

Paige and I share a belief in the power of intentional writing. Neurosurgeon James Doty’s framework, what he calls mind magic, offers a practical way to align attention, habits, and opportunity. It’s not about wishful thinking; it’s about training your mind to see and act on what matters.

How to start (10–15 minutes, weekly):

1. Pick your pillars. Create four sections: Personal, Work, Relationships, Adventure/Travel (or categories of your own).

2. Write in the present tense. Describe outcomes as if they’re already true. “I lead a calm, focused team of five. We hit targets without burnout.”

3. Date each entry. Add today’s date and, if helpful, a gentle horizon (e.g., “by June 30”).

4. Name the habits. List 1–3 behaviors that prove you’re already that person. “I time‑box deep work daily; I delegate with clear guardrails; I exercise 4x/week.”

5. Scan for alignment. Each week, star what still feels alive. Cross out what no longer fits. It’s okay to evolve.

6. Act tiny, daily. Choose one 15‑minute action that moves something forward today. Small, consistent moves compound.

One‑page template:

• Personal

  • I am… (present‑tense outcome)

  • Proof habits: 1) 2) 3) __

• Work

  • I create/lead/build…

  • Proof habits: 1) 2) 3) __

• Relationships

  • I show up as…

  • Proof habits: 1) 2) 3) __

• Adventure/Travel

  • I experience…

  • Proof habits: 1) 2) 3) __

Tape this page where you can easily see it. Speak it out loud once a day. Then, strive to be the person your page describes, taking one small action at a time.

10) Questions to sit with this week

• Where am I forcing something that doesn’t fit—and what would it look like to stop?

• If I said no to one obligation this month, what higher‑value thing could I say yes to?

• What’s the smallest experiment I can run to test a new path without burning down the old one?

• Who needs an invitation to step up, and how will I coach, not correct?

Final word

Midlife is not about shrinking your ambition; it’s about refining it. Take Paige’s nudge to heart: make space for who you genuinely are. From that place, your impact isn’t louder, it’s truer.

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