To Begin Your Next Chapter, You Have to Let Go of Who You Were

StevenMiyao
Jun 7
4 min read

For Gen Xers quietly questioning the life they built and what might come next.

There’s a feeling of deep melancholy in our generation and a low-level, underlying sense of discomfort that doesn’t always scream for attention, but it’s real. And it’s often the first sign that something deeper needs to shift. For many Gen Xers, it’s the realization they never got to where they thought they’d be, and they quietly carry that disappointment. For others, it’s worse: they got there, did everything right, and discovered they don’t even like what they are doing. And then there’s the group that made it, loves it, and lives in quiet fear of losing it.

As Dr. Eric Dawson said in our conversation on The Midlife Remix,

“We don’t have to be as we are.”

This is a liberating truth, but also a confronting one. If change is possible, we are responsible for deciding what comes next.

This post is about realizing the life you’ve built may not be the one you want to keep living on autopilot. It doesn’t have to be a dramatic reinvention. There are quieter evolutions that can happen. It’s a shift that asks you to let go of who you were to figure out who you’re becoming.

What We Don’t Talk About

I work with many Gen X clients who have checked all the boxes. They’ve built companies, led teams, and raised families. They’ve been responsible for a long time, and something has changed. Not because people weren’t successful, but because so many weren’t fulfilled.

That tension shows up when your life still looks fine on the outside but no longer feels right on the inside.

Prompt: What part of your life still looks fine to others but feels increasingly out of sync with who you are?

Letting Go Is Work

Eric spent three decades running Peace First, the youth organization he founded. It was deeply aligned with his values, built from scratch, and known worldwide. Then he walked away, not because he was lost, but because the identity no longer fit, and he wanted to make space for the next generation to lead.

“All great things come with loss,” he said. “And when we don’t honor that loss, it metastasizes into resentment.”

Gen X often skips this part of change: the emotional work. We're used to staying in motion, handling what needs to be managed, and moving forward. But when you don’t pause to acknowledge the cost of staying in something too long, it catches up with you, in resentment, burnout, or just numbness.

Prompt: What have you poured yourself into that no longer gives back what it used to?

What Comes Next Isn’t Always Clear

The hardest part of midlife change isn’t the logistics; it’s the ambiguity. You don’t know what you want, but it’s not this anymore. That in-between space? That’s the work. It’s the period where you’re no longer who you were, but not yet sure who you’re becoming. Most people try to skip this part. Gen Xers, in particular, tend to push through it: figure it out, keep performing, and stay productive. But you can’t fast-track your way through an identity shift.

“We don’t have to be as we are.”

That’s what Eric said, not as inspiration, more as a quiet challenge. You don’t have to keep playing the role just because you’re good at it.

Prompt: What would you be honest about if you weren’t trying to keep everything running smoothly?

What Stayed With Me

We covered a lot in the conversation: grief, leadership, identity, and what it means to outgrow even the things you care deeply about. But what stayed with me wasn’t just what Eric said. It was how deeply his story echoed what I see in so many Gen X professionals, people who aren’t in crisis but are starting to feel like they’ve outgrown the story they’ve been living. People quietly ask, “Is this all there is?” but are unsure how to answer it.

If any part of this resonated, I hope you’ll watch the conversation with Eric. His talk about change is a quiet honesty that’s hard to capture in writing. And if you’re in the middle of that shift yourself, you’ll feel seen. And if you are ready to do the work, let’s talk.

Final Prompt: What’s one part of your story you’ve outgrown, even if you’re unsure what comes after it?

You don’t have to know exactly how to fix things. But you can start by wondering out loud: what would it take to feel like us again?

These conversations aren’t separate from the other big questions we ask in midlife. They’re part of the same story.

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