Simon Verhoeven spent years dreaming about a particular German Film Award, and the moment it was finally in his hand, the first thing he felt wasn't satisfaction, it was "okay, so what's next?" He's one of the most successful directors in Germany, with films that became hits and got remade across Europe. The film that won for him, Ach, diese Lücke, diese entsetzliche Lücke, roughly "this gap, this terrible gap," is about loss, and he made it during the same years he was lo

The bonus clears, and for a few weeks, you can stop asking yourself if this is really what you want. Then the check settles into the account, time passes, and the question comes back.

Most of the senior leaders I work with say yes too often, and they're paying for it in ways that don't show up on any quarterly report. I recently had Erin Holland-Collins on the Midlife Remix podcast, and one of the threads I keep coming back to is what I've started calling the "half-yes": agreeing to something not because you want to do it, but because the no felt harder than the yes.

“I didn’t even realize that I wanted this promotion until someone else got it.” That came up when I was talking with Brittanni Hendricks on Midlife Remix, and she hears some version of it regularly from high performers. I keep coming back to it because it names what happens to the executives I coach, who have managed their own wanting for so long that, when it surfaces, someone else is already in the role.

In the latest episode of the Midlife Remix (full conversation link in comments), I talked with Molly Carroll, MA, LPC, a therapist, author, podcast host, and TED Talk speaker.

He shared that leadership teams increasingly recognize that inner work is closely tied to high performance. He also offered insights on noticing when you’re avoiding feelings, blaming instead of taking responsibility, clinging to being right instead of staying curious, and developing awareness through meditation—all of which transformed not only my perspective on leadership but also how I engage day to day.

At some point in our 40s or 50s, a question begins to surface: Is this really it? We’ve played the roles, built the career, supported the family, stayed the course. But at some point, the math stops adding up. That was true for me in 2025. And as I talked with others this year, clients, friends, and guests on The Midlife Remix, I realized just how many of us are navigating the same issue. This year, I wanted to step back to reflect. To look closely at what shifted for me,

Most people don’t walk away from a powerful title and a big paycheck. And even fewer talk openly about what comes after. That’s why this conversation with Paul Hatch felt so important. If you know Paul, you know he’s always been sharp, driven, and steady under pressure. But the honesty he brought into this episode surprised me. It’s the kind of clarity that comes only from hitting a few walls, learning from them, and choosing a different way forward.

There’s a midlife phase where you’re actively engaged, meeting expectations, but the sense of fulfillment has changed. This occurs because we're midway through life, facing health issues, children’s problems, and aging parents. Typically, it’s a sign that the motivations that once drove you aren’t as strong or relevant anymore.

We spend our lives chasing success; climbing the corporate ladder, making more money, and proving ourselves. In midlife, we question what to do once we achieve it, or why we keep pursuing it when we haven’t.