Could Your Motivation to Succeed Be Preventing Your True Success?

A few years ago, everything looked right on the surface: a respected title, solid compensation, and a seat at the table where decisions were made. It’s the kind of position I once thought I’d wanted.

But instead of feeling fulfilled, I've noticed a feeling of restlessness.. I question whether I’m growing, whether I’m aligned, and if this is it.

I’ve started to see that some of my decisions haven’t been fueled by purpose, but by a fear of losing what I’ve worked so hard to build.

Even when we’re operating at a high level, growing our businesses, refining our craft, and leading others, our underlying motivations still matter. They matter more because the higher you go, the more your decisions ripple outward.

I see this all the time in my coaching work with high performers: people who are highly capable and committed but who still feel stuck, restless, or unclear, not because they lack skill or ambition, but because something deeper is shaping their behavior just beneath the surface.

In this post, I’ll share what I’ve learned through personal experience and in my coaching practice about how to recognize what’s driving you. Whether you're moving from fear or toward growth, you’ll see how past patterns show up in present-day decisions, why motivation rarely follows a clean path, and how clarity can unlock more grounded and sustainable progress.

Not All Needs Are Equal, but Some Can Still Be Urgent

When particular needs go unmet, they dominate our attention. You can’t focus on growth when you don’t feel safe. You’re not taking creative risks if your nervous system is in survival mode. These prepotent needs, as the psychologist Abraham Maslow called them, demand priority, security, belonging, and control.

But often, we continue responding to needs that aren’t actually under threat. We overprepare, overwork, or overachieve, not because the danger is real, but because the pattern is familiar.

Many of us are still reacting to environments that no longer exist. Maybe you grew up with instability. Perhaps success was a means to earn affection. That kind of wiring doesn’t disappear just because your circumstances have changed.

Are You Motivated by Growth or by Fear?

This is a question I ask myself regularly, as well as almost every client I work with.

One founder I coached had built a highly successful company but felt deeply unfulfilled. From the outside, it looked like growth. But under the surface, he was still chasing the approval he never got as a kid. Until he named that pattern, every decision was just a new version of the same story.

That’s more common than most people realize.

Fear can look like ambition. It can assume the appearance of productivity, leadership, or strategic thinking. But over time, it hollows out your relationship with the work and with yourself.

Wanting to get better at what you do is a good thing. But unless you’ve clarified why, you risk building a life that’s impressive but misaligned.

Motivation Isn’t Linear; It Loops and Doubles Back

In the book Transcend: The New Science of Self-Actualization, psychologist Scott Barry Kaufman builds upon Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs, reminding us that motivation isn’t a clean ascent. You don’t conquer fear and move on. You don’t reach self-esteem and never revisit doubt. These needs don’t disappear; they shift, evolve, and resurface in different ways over time.

One week, you’re confident and creative. Next, you’re second-guessing everything. This doesn’t indicate a setback; it signifies that you’re moving forward.

Most growth is iterative. Two steps forward, one step sideways. It’s not failure. It’s feedback.

Recognizing that helps you move with more awareness and less self-judgment.

High Performance Starts with Internal Clarity

You can’t perform well, lead effectively, or stay sharp in your craft if your inner system is quietly being run by fear, scarcity, or old definitions of success.

I’ve seen this play out in every kind of leader, from entrepreneurs to executives to creatives. When you don't pause to examine your motivations, you may still succeed outwardly, but often at the cost of energy, clarity, or meaning.

The high performers who evolve with integrity aren’t necessarily the most talented. They’re the ones willing to ask the harder questions: Why am I doing this? What’s the cost of staying in this pattern? What else is possible from a different mindset?

They learn to self-correct not out of panic, but through perspective.

Self-Actualization Isn’t a Luxury, It’s a Lever

Everyone needs security, connection, and respect. That’s not personal; it’s human.

What becomes personal is how you contribute once those needs no longer dictate your decision-making. That’s where clarity, creativity, and authentic leadership begin.

If you can help someone, feel seen in a meeting that others overlooked…If you can build a product that solves something meaningful…If you can write, design, coach, or create from a place of purpose, not pressure.

Then your work becomes more than just output. It becomes aligned.

Three Questions to Work With:

• What’s motivating this next decision, growth or fear?

• Are my needs truly unmet, or are past experiences still writing today’s script?

• Am I trying to improve or prove myself?

Take a few minutes today or block time on your calendar for when you have time to sit with this.

Center yourself.

Close your eyes.

Take a few deep breaths.

Then write down whatever comes to mind. Not what sounds good, but what feels true. Write down your answers, honestly, without editing. But even small shifts in awareness can change the direction you’re heading. If you want to improve your leadership, creativity, and contribution, this is where it starts, not with more output, but with greater self-awareness.

If this resonates, you’re not alone.

Even high achievers need to understand their motivations. Contact me if you're ready to rebuild with more clarity and connection. Coaching can help you make space for what matters.

#leadership, #motivation, #mindset, #success, #leadershipdevelopment, #leadershipskills, #leadershipcoaching, #selfleadership, #innerclarity, #selfawarenessmatters, #knowyourwhy, #fearorgrowth, #stevenmiyao, #coachingmetta

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